Day 3

Visiting the Kotel on Friday Night

By Sabrina Burke

While waiting in the security line my anxiety had already been building. I didn't know what I expected, but it scared me. My head was in another place and my body moved on it's own volition. I try to bring myself back to the present moment as we walk over to the woman's side of the Kotel wall. I focus on the feel of my feet connecting with the stone ground.

One foot after the other. One foot after the other. One foot after the other. You're okay, you're okay. It's okay.

We join a group, singing some songs I know and some songs I don't. It's too much. Woman are laughing and singing with one another alongside training soldiers. Some are just chatting with one another, others pray silently sitting in white lawn chairs. Some are staring around at the bustling activity like myself, others are devoted to the Western Wall. It's a buzz of energy and I can feel it all expanding inside me. I was struck in my core by the strength of community in all of it's diversity. It was clear then that Israel is a very special place, not just because it is special to the Jewish people, but because there is a special role that this country has in the world.

I rejoin the dancing, chanting with the students. We stomp our feet on the stone ground together. I don't think. I'm just there. I'm part of Jerusalem in that moment.

Rachel and I head towards the Kotel wall. It feels bigger with each step forward. The stone feels cold under my hands and a rush of endorphins flood through me. It was euphoric. I recite the Shehecheyanu prayer to myself; thankful to have come to this moment. I found something very special today. What exactly? I couldn't tell you confidently. But I can feel it there like I can feel my own skin. A part of myself has shifted in a way that feels better than before. For that I also say:

Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech haolam,

shehecheyanu, v'kiy'manu, v'higianu laz'man hazeh.

Shabbat shalom,

Sabrina

The Makhtesh Crater in Mitzpeh Ramon